Student Survival 101: Hallway Terrors

By Alyse Allred

West Side is one of those schools graced by a fairly-manageable sized student body. Which means that you are afforded at least a couple inches of elbow room in the hallways. Usually.

Of course there are always exceptions. At those times, that pretty little personal bubble goes pop. Sometimes you’re lucky to arrive to class in one piece, let alone on time. That’s not to say it’s impossible; it’s saying you’ll need to do a little planning if you aim to make it through high school without being trampled.

One of the hotspots for trouble is our school stairways. It’s continually a surprise to me that some of our most vertically challenged students aren’t picked up and merely dragged along to heaven knows where. My suggestion: Don’t fight the current. Students naturally organize themselves into upward-bound and downward-bound streams.  If you’re caught in the wrong stream, then it’s anybody’s guess where you’ll end up.

Another intense danger is the seventh graders. They seem to think of the school as a giant pinball machine, featuring themselves as the pinballs. As a result, it’s not uncommon to see a seventh grader moving at high speeds, bouncing off of walls, students, and teachers alike. This poses a threat to the student body in general, as unsuspecting students are highly unbalanced (by the textbook troubles mentioned in an earlier column). It also endangers the seventh graders themselves, because a number of them have not hit their growth yet, and could easily be trampled underfoot by equally unaware seniors.

In general, it seems like the problem with the hallways is etiquette. For instance, in my opinion, if students are going to stand four or five abreast in the hallways without moving, then they deserve to be run through at high speeds. Is this polite? Probably not. But if they weren’t being rude in the first place, I wouldn’t have to be rude back.

However, I earnestly believe that if everybody simply showed some common decency, then the in-between minutes in school would be less dangerous, and even bordering on enjoyable.

In other words, we’re all doomed.


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